Goodbye 40. Hello 41.

Personal Narrative
On Mother’s Day I cried. I felt anxious most of the day. Irritable. Off-kilter. But I wasn’t sure why. Late afternoon I sat with Blue and he held my hands until I could say. I truly didn’t know until the words flew out: “I'm not a mother.” I buried my face, hiding tears. It felt strange to say. And really it was more that I felt in between. Displaced? Out of place? I dunno. I was coming to love his children, but who was I, really? Despite the growing relationship we all shared, there was no neat space for me. Not stepmom. Not stepmom-to-be. But there they were. And here I was. A lovely conundrum in the grand scheme of things, but one that confused my heart. Normally, I don’t look…
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Sunshine, fog and love

Personal Narrative
I'm still waiting for the latest to sink in. Awareness comes in flashes, but it hasn't quite settled in. Maybe in a month? A season? I dunno. But seven days hasn't been enough. A week ago today Blue and I were married! I told him every day of our honeymoon it feels so surreal. I'm a wife now. And a stepmom. Wow. Perhaps I'll spend a few posts digging into these as I try these labels and responsibilities on for size. The ceremony was short, sweet and intimate, and remains quite hazy in my memory. I was in a fog most of the proceedings, despite the clear, sunshiny day. Dina, our photographer, offered suggestions for poses and she had to repeat them all. I could hear her, but somehow she was talking to… someone else. I didn't feel nervous…
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…but how do you want to feel?

30 Day Blog Challenge, Personal Narrative, Productivity, Temple Building, Women's Health
I'm home, after a day of inspiration. And like I've been for the past few months, I'm tired. I'm not bone tired or weary, but I've just noticed that I'm not as energized as I used to be. There are many very specific reasons for that, but they all boil down to one: change. [caption id="attachment_639" align="alignright" width="258"] One day after work, I did handstands and cartwheels in this grass.[/caption] Over the past several months, I've changed a lot and so has my environment. From my zip code to my job responsibilities, to aspects of romantic and platonic relationships. Personal goals and professional goals have shifted. Exercise habits have changed. Food. The amount of time I spend in the sun or the ways I engage nature. The amount and type…
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