Probability, Possibility and Change

30 Day Blog Challenge, 30 in 30 April, Love
I believe in the potential for change. Change is, after all, one of the few constants in life. Even at the cellular level, there is always change. Birth, aging, sickness, death. Rebirth. Change. I'm speaking about it in grand terms, but what I'm really talking about is the potential for individuals to evolve. To shift in attitudes, ways of thinking, and behaviors. To learn new things and be affected by them. Ultimately, I believe in the potential of humans to be human. ...humans are always evolving (Freire). Not in the sense that humans are some how deficient, but rather that they, like plants, continue to seed and bloom and remake themselves. To live is to grow. Stagnation is, in effect, death.  ~Nicole D. Collier, In Defense of Inquiry Earlier today…
Read More

Settling. Not yet still.

Personal Narrative
I've missed this space. I'm finally settling into my house. I haven't spent much time there yet, and we can now add renovating to the purging, reorganizing, unpacking mix. Seems it's time for a new roof. Lots going on, suffice to say. Cousin Big Sister and my SO, Blue, have been amazingly supportive. I love and appreciate them. I'm excited about  my Creating Room. I'm not sure that name'll stick, but it's basically a thinking/collaborative space. Or it will be. It was most recently known as the Everything Room - a dumping ground for miscellaneous or mislabeled boxes, and soon-to-be-purged items/furniture. It's clear now, except for the closet, and after a fresh paint job and some intentional (inexpensive) furniture selections, I think it'll be my new favorite place. I'm getting…
Read More

No means no* #NaBloPoMo #vaw #fem2

30 Day Blog Challenge, Sexual Violence
At times boundaries are rendered ambiguous, when in actuality, they're sharply drawn. In rape culture, this means no is sometimes given an asterisk: No means no* when your partner says it three times. Or no means no* when your partner hits you in protest. No means no* when (fill in the blank). No means no. It means no when it's a stranger. It means no when it's an acquaintance. It means no when it's a family member. If it's your spouse, significant other or otherwise longterm partner, it still means no. Rape culture perpetuates the myth that perpetrators of sexual assault are always scary men with ski-masks and guns, hiding in the bushes for the easiest target. Or maybe they're burglars who break in to steal your electronics and get…
Read More

Stories of Sexual Violence #NaBloPoMo #vaw #fem2

30 Day Blog Challenge, Personal Narrative, Sexual Violence
I am a survivor of sexual violence. I've never stated it publicly, but I've hinted about it here and there. I'm tired of hinting. It's risky, claiming survivor status out loud. It's old wounds ripped open and sprinkled with salt. Once-dried tears, bubbling up, spilling over. Heart racing. Doubts. Anger. It's triggering. Digging into that history, thinking about it, remembering it, and sharing it is triggering. One could reasonably wonder why do it? I'll tell you why: to counter rape culture. Telling my story gives other survivors permission to tell theirs. It opens a channel for dialogue, healing and transformation. It creates a space for would-be perpetrators to see the effect of sexual violence and potentially make more loving choices. It adds to the public discourse about sexual violence, masculinity…
Read More

Forever Changed | #30in30 #WriteLikeCrazy.

30 Day Blog Challenge, Personal Narrative, Sexual Violence
What is one thing that left you forever changed? I stumbled across this question while sitting, browsing and mulling – the trio known collectively as my process. Even when I have an idea in mind (I did) I often have to go through this period of germination. I embraced it in grad school, but I kinda want things to move a little faster. But this is me stalling. As soon as I read that question, an answer came to mind. I was inspired to respond, completely disregarding my initial plans to write about student ingenuity and punishment. Though as I began to type, I wondered how much I should or would share. I’m still deciding. I’ll ease into it and see what comes out. I experienced the first love of…
Read More

Writing Publicly

Personal Narrative, Writer's Craft
One of my goals/determinations for 2012 is to write and publish meaningful, well-received pieces. My first one (yay!) is linked below. I had the pleasure of working with a brilliant editor, Kelly Virella, and I'm deeply appreciative of her guidance and wisdom. I hope to write many more personal essays, advocacy pieces, and other works throughout 2012. Here's to the first one! Mama’s voicemail sounded an alarm. “I’m not feeling well. Call me back.” I returned her call right away. No answer. Heart pounding, eyebrows raised, I left a message in return, chiding her for scaring me by leaving mysterious messages and then refusing to answer the phone. In my nearly 30 years of life, I’d never heard her say anything so ominous. Minutes later, I headed to our rendezvous point…
Read More

Now Reading

Temple Building, Text Talk
Understanding and Promoting Transformative Learning: A Guide for Educators of Adults by Patricia Cranton I've just started, but I'm enjoying Cranton's book. She has a readable, accessible style and she's doing a nice job at integrating her discussion of theory and practice. As an outsider to adult education who finds kinship with transformative learning for many reasons, it's nice to find a primer with both heft and practicality. View all my reviews
Read More

Wounding. A 20-year lesson.

Personal Narrative, Sexual Violence
A thief made off with a prized possession Me Snatched from sacred promises of love everlasting Held hostage Imprisoned A cage of my own hand Tortured by hurt invisible, choking out life, love Twenty years I spent Captive to that pain Yet blind Ignorant of my own walls Fences Wondering why you couldn’t reach me Wouldn’t reach out to me Feel me Know me None had eyes for well-hidden pain Buried And I with it Trapped Cowering behind a guarded heart Safe From you Wishes escaped on wings of prayers Floating beyond boundaries of consciousness Sneaking through cracks Disguised as discarded hopes Rising above barriers Taking flight A call A song in my key Imprisoned heart unlocked Responding Wishes as balm As pathway to freedom Story as star Illuminating the…
Read More