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Spinning Wheels

Let’s make big goals.
Every day, be clear about
the task at hand.
Ambiguity and ambivalence
are the cause for spinning one’s
wheels and getting nowhere.
Challenge yourself unremittingly
until you seize victory and success.

~Daisaku Ikeda, Nichiren Buddhist philosopher

Lately, I have not been clear about the tasks at hand. I have neither reviewed, revisited, nor reconsidered my goals, big or otherwise. There are certain tasks I must complete for my job, and those are easy to acknowledge and accomplish. But it’s the personal work I’ve neglected as of late. My writing. My teaching. Healing work.

I’ve let things slide.

The result? Days like today: a day in which I have the time and freedom to delve into pleasing topics, but no sense of joy because I’m rather unfocused. Haphazard. Today felt as though I were driving around in circles. I was obviously moving, but wasn’t really going anywhere.

I’ve talked a bit in recent weeks about what I’ll now call personal victory strategies (PVS). I conceive of them as strategies that work for sure. When you implement them, you are productive and are able to accomplish great things.

For various reasons, we I often engage in a bit of self sabotage. Fully aware of what works, I choose, inexplicably, to turn a blind eye and do something else!  One tried and true PVS is listing. I’ve made lists since I was a kid. In fact, I used them religiously, much to the consternation of my mother who thought I was a bit too obsessive with them.  “Are you okay?” she’d sometimes ask when she saw me brooding over yet another list.

Listing is my favorite PVS.

No one taught me to list. I simply thought of all the things I wanted to do in a given time period (hours, days, weeks, or even years), and I jotted them down. It was natural to me. I always knew exactly what to do, and I could just go do it. I’d cross things out, and when I got about half way through it, I’d rewrite it, revising as needed.

I remind myself of this particular PVS when I feel out of sorts, and after a day like today, it’s definitely time to implement it once again. Tonight and tomorrow I’ll be reviewing, revisiting, reconsidering my 2012 goals. I’ll list specific action items so I can move toward my goals with clarity and focus.

So tell me, what are some of your personal victory strategies?

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After 12 Weeks

It’s April 1st, and today I was supposed to “rest.”

I spent the past 12 weeks doing a high intensity cardio program, TurboFire. I enjoyed it a great deal. I lost body fat and a few pounds (no mean feat when you already exercise regularly), and gained cardiovascular fitness. I also embraced my newly realized love of exercise and made the 6-day/week workout non-negotiable. It reaffirmed my need for routine and structure, despite my love of freedom and flexibility in my work schedule.

I debated long and hard about continuing the program for another 8 weeks or moving on to something else. I decided the fact I was feeling so attached meant I needed to break away and move on. As of next week, I’m beginning a new regimen – Pump (a full body weight training program) 3 times a week, plus cardio (running) 3 times a week.

So that brings us to today.

I ventured outside for my first run of 2012! I wish I could say it was glorious. It was definitely a good run, and I know for sure my cardiovascular fitness has improved. Breathing was easy and I had plenty of air, even when I pushed my normal pace. The problem? Lack of “rest.”

TurboFire is all choreographed kickboxing, squats and plyometrics. Running four miles was easy on my lungs, but my glutes and quads had commentary.

A lot of it.

I had to walk a little bit and/or slow down during the burn. Still, I’m excited to report I hit a new personal record:

1st run of 2012 = personal record!

My previous PR was my last run of 2011, so it’s a happy surprise that my new one is my first run of 2012. Here’s to continued temple building.

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The Multiculturalism of Language

Divorce. Dinosaurs, Birthdays. Religion. Halloween. Christmas. Television. These are a few of the 50-plus words and references the New York City Department of Education is hoping to ban from the city’s standardized tests.

What interests me about this topic is not the seemingly careful selection of words for inclusion/exclusion. Nay, I’m intrigued that we still hold firm to the belief that language is, can be, or should be, neutral. Maybe someone has identified a few “hot button” words that are potentially “more loaded” than others (debatable), but this idea, that somehow language and word choice is ever truly decontextualized (or even should be) is not just silly, it’s dangerous.

In this world of high-stakes testing, an ever diversifying population is expected to magically measure up to standardized notions of sameness. Those who don’t are deemed failures.

Actually, conversations like this – that some words and concepts are potentially offensive, triggering – should help us to see that standardized tests can scarcely measure a neutral or objective standard. The standards are always someone’s standards. What is assumed common is always someone’s view of what’s common. This means that for someone else (often people of lower socioeconomic status or people of color), these concepts, ideas, words, are NOT standard.  The truth is, we each embody many intersections. Our language choices, including “neutral” words like family, reflect those intersections.

This discussion shows that testing (and schooling) cannot really be “culture blind,” despite the fact that the very idea of standardizing rests on this premise.

Read Brian Vitagliano’s article in full, here.

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Writing Publicly

One of my goals/determinations for 2012 is to write and publish meaningful, well-received pieces. My first one (yay!) is linked below. I had the pleasure of working with a brilliant editor, Kelly Virella, and I’m deeply appreciative of her guidance and wisdom. I hope to write many more personal essays, advocacy pieces, and other works throughout 2012. Here’s to the first one!

Mama’s voicemail sounded an alarm. “I’m not feeling well. Call me back.” I returned her call right away. No answer. Heart pounding, eyebrows raised, I left a message in return, chiding her for scaring me by leaving mysterious messages and then refusing to answer the phone. In my nearly 30 years of life, I’d never heard her say anything so ominous.

Minutes later, I headed to our rendezvous point – the emergency room. She’d enlisted a neighbor to drive her and she’d arrive shortly. “I don’t have a good feeling about this,” I told my best friend’s voicemail. “I don’t think this is going to turn out well.”

(Note: Dominion of NY is now offline).

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Don’t have to like it to love it.

In recent weeks I’ve started to pay more attention to myself. I used to be fairly good at this, but in the hustle and bustle of daily life, meetings and must-dos compete for my attention, and my inner voice often gets silenced in all the noise.

Tuning into myself as of late, I’ve noticed that I really enjoy exercise. I’ve been running for a couple of years now, but I don’t run every day. In fact, I strive not to run every day because of its high impact on my already injury-prone body (thanks to gymnastics, track, and cheerleading in my youth, as well an awful, yet persistent, habit of sitting with one leg underneath me). So I’ve been purposely scheduling off days to rest my body, and also, depending on my schedule, to sleep past o’dark thirty.

But I’ve finally discovered that my day goes and feels differently depending on the inclusion or exclusion of exercise. Even if it’s a short walk to run an errand, or dancing around the house, I just feel better when I make a concerted effort to move. Chalk it up to endorphins, but stagnant energy is transformed, and I have momentum to keep it moving.

The hardest part, of course, is getting started. Some mornings it does take a bit of self coaxing to get out of bed – especially if the weather isn’t ideal or I haven’t slept as much as I’d like. But invariably, if I get past the “Don’t wanna!” stage, I always find myself at “So glad I did!”

With that, I’m striving to exercise more frequently, even if it simply means dancing out to Beyonce’s Get Me Bodied a couple of times.

The inner voice says it’s ready to move. It’s time my body listened.

[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=aUaInS6HIGo?rel=0]

Shout out to my line sister Dina, for sharing this great video recently.

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On Living, or Dying, with Anger

It is dangerous to hold fast to anger toward another.

Perhaps even poisonous.

One may look around one day, only to find herself rotting, dying a slow death from the inside. And yet, aware as I am of this simple point, I catch myself, arms wrapped ‘round my body, one crossed over another, refusing to release it. It’s almost comforting, this anger. Terrifying to think of letting it go, and Goddess forbid, opening my heart again. Where would I be without this cloak ‘round me? Without this veil enclosing my heart? One shudders to think of it. And yet one shudders a great deal more to ponder the alternative.

Praying to expel this poison. Move past the betrayal. Get on with life and the living. Anger, held too long and too deeply, is for the dead.

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In Praise of the Pomodoro Technique

You might’ve seen one before – a little red timer disguised as a tomato. Well a tomato is a pomodoro, and the tomato timer is the inspiration behind the Pomodoro Technique. Created in the 1980s by Francesco Cirillo, the technique is designed to make time our ally as we manage it better and become more productive.

This is a pomodoro timer. I just used the timer on my phone though.

To Do Today
“To Do” lists. We all have them. Some of them may be indescribably long. Sometimes they may simply include one item. A big item. An item that takes a week or two to complete. (Or a semester, e.g., “Complete dissertation”). At any rate, many of us set about the tasks at hand pretty clear about what we’d like to accomplish, but not going about them in a strategic way. Before we know it, time is passing and at 3 p.m. we’re wondering where noon went.

Chunking larger tasks into smaller, bite-sized pieces is invaluable. I did it to great effect to build momentum and finish said dissertation in a timely fashion. I went from feeling overwhelmed at the enormity of it all, to excited and energized every time I completed a task successfully.

Pomodoro Basics
The Pomodoro Technique takes that idea a step further. Take your same “To Do” list and figure out specifically what tasks you plan to accomplish in one day. No, seriously. Then follow these steps:

  1. Choose a task to be accomplished
  2. Set the Pomodoro to 25 minutes
  3. Work on the task until the Pomodoro rings, then put a check on your sheet of paper
  4. Take a short break (3-5 minutes)
  5. Every 4 Pomodoros take a longer break (15-30 minutes)

Proof in the Tomato Pudding
I tried it today. I really had to get a project done. It’s one I’ve been putting off, literally for weeks, because other things kept taking priority. But time does eventually run out and the clock was ticking. I chunked the whole project into five tasks and started the timer for “round one.” I was amazed and encouraged at how easy it was to bat away my typical distractions knowing that a break was imminent. For the same reason, I pushed myself to focus as I wanted to see at least a little progress by the time the bell rang. The cheat sheet says the “next” pomodoro will go better, and, ladies and gentlemen, the cheat sheet doesn’t lie.

Productivity begat more productivity and I was on a roll. Turns out, I chunked my tasks pretty well. The first one was most difficult, taking 4 pomodoros (2 hours) to complete. But the other tasks took one pomodoro each, with seconds to spare each time. A project that seemed to take forever, only took four hours to complete. And I still had time to check email and tweet on breaks!

Any Drawbacks?
Yes! The momentum can be tiring. It’s really important to take those “longer” breaks every two hours. You’re basically moving at top speed constantly. I would recommend mixing in all sorts of tasks so you can sort of relax in between harder ones. And by relax I mean doing something that doesn’t require as much mental work – organizing, filing, returning a call, etc. Things we do have to accomplish anyway.

At any rate, shout out to Amanda for reminding me of the technique. I heard about it years ago, but for whatever reason, chose to stick to the Nicole Technique – working for 60-90 minute blocks on long assignments, with 15-30 minute breaks. That worked fine, but I’m really glad I now have this tool in my toolbox. And now, so do you! If you try it out, please let me know how it goes for you. Happy timing!

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Liebster Award

In 2011 I am fearless. That has been my motto since New Year’s eve when I declared it to the world (or at least to those who care to read my tweets now and again).

At the root of this declaration was my determination to write more often and to do so more publicly. I’m still working on both of those things, so it was a sweet affirmation of progress to receive the Liebster Award. Thank you Kizzy.

As a recipient of this award, there are a few things I must do:

  1. Link back to the original blogger who gave me the award. Check.
  2. Share my five picks for the Liebster and let them know via a comment in their blog. Check.
  3. Post the award on my blog. Check.
  4. Enjoy the love of some of the most supportive people on the Internet. Yay!

Liebster, a German term, seems to mean beloved, friend, dearest, favorite, and other words that relate to something treasured.  What a beautiful sentiment. It’s encouragement to bloggers who have fewer than 200 readers. I’m honored to pay it forward!

Here are some of my favorite blogs. I don’t know how many people subscribe, but I think many more should. These women push and clarify my thinking, inspire me, or just happily share in this journey called life. Please visit them and enjoy!