Begin Again

Personal Narrative
Time certainly does march on. Who knew nearly a year had passed since I last updated this blog? Even then it was more of an announcement than one of my regular posts. I suppose we all do that though – go through quiet spells. In recent weeks I've come to understand that I've been quiet in a lot of areas of my life, not just social media. I've also experienced bouts of anxiety, which is loud in my head and in my body, but quiet on the outside. I've said no. A lot. I've ignored people. Often. I needed this time to myself. But like everything else, quiet was a season. And now I'm saying yes more often. And responding more often. And maybe even blogging more often, too. Today…
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Steps and Strides

Personal Narrative, Sub 60 10k
[caption id="attachment_3655" align="alignleft" width="225"] The view during my first three miles.[/caption] Today was workout 21 of 61, and I ran 3 miles, 5 strides. The three miles is old hat this point, but we've upped the strides this week. That last stride just about did me in! I wanted to give it my all, and I did, but rather than running through the tape, I pulled up at the final split second. I felt disappointed as I heard the last chime, but I gave all I felt capable of at that moment. All day I assumed the last stride was slower than some of the others, but now I've checked – it was fastest! By far! Goes to show, perception is not always reality. Still, I plan to work at  running through the tape. It's easy for…
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#Sub60 10k: 18 of 61 – Stepmoms Run

Personal Narrative, Running Buddha, Sub 60 10k
[caption id="attachment_3641" align="alignleft" width="225"] Blue & Lil Blue post 5k[/caption] Thursday morning, I ran with the youngest. He's 11 and likes a good adventure as much as the next kid. After a strong finish during a recent 5k race, he agreed with his father and I that running would be good summertime pursuit. He's athletic, with a determined heart, and was undaunted by my description of Thursday's running plan. Eleven (almost 12) is that interesting age where some are still open to public kisses from parents, but are pretty sure they've got this thing (life) all figured out. Or at least they want you to think so. As a veteran classroom  teacher turned new stepmom, it's an interesting tug-of-war watching this play out, even as you know what's going on. I know how kids…
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Last day and next steps

Personal Narrative
Today is Friday! It's also the last day of school here. I know folks in other parts of the country still have a long way to go, but we get out the Friday before Memorial Day and return in early August. I accomplished a few things this week - not as many as I wanted, but plenty that were important. Next week will be interesting with the kids and their new summer schedule. With that in mind, I'm going to challenge myself to have clear goals and make steady efforts toward them. I have a few projects in progress I want to finish within the next six weeks. In the next day or so I plan to block off some time to schedule and chunk my projects so I can make it…
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One task

Personal Narrative, Zaimu Challenge
Today I am thinking of fear. Feeling it. Working through it. Understanding it. Appreciating it as a teacher. Fear, in certain degrees, can feel like a happy excitement. Stomach tingling, breath quickening. I felt that fear today. It comes when I have doubts about something I want to do, and I can see the beginning of paralysis. Self-sabotage. I haven't given into Resistance yet, but I have the sudden urge to talk myself out of... progress. But for now it's just a tingle. It's commentary about the relative location of me and my comfort zone. [caption id="" align="alignleft" width="314"] A New Year's Eve declaration.[/caption] Any time fear is my muse, I ponder the word fearless. I explored this a few years ago, and I have come to understand THAT being fearless is not really being without fear, but about lessening…
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Winter Run: A Moving Meditation

Personal Narrative, Temple Building
January 5, 2016 | 7:10 am. I pull up to the trailhead, pleased it's not crowded. Understatement. Only one other car is here. It's cold this morning, so I get it. It's been unseasonably warm and the past couple of days Winter took over, as is her right to do. But it's damn cold. My weather app says 27º. Windchill 19º. I ran yesterday, similarly dressed in thermals and such. I had to ignore the cold to start. Colder now, but I really want these miles, so here I am. Me and one other brave soul. It's daybreak. Sunrise is 30 minutes away. The sky is clear. I see stars and a lovely crescent moon. I try to snap a picture, but the camera on my phone hasn't cooperated in weeks, and the shots are…
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Half the distance, twice the win

Personal Narrative
It rained forever and a day. Seriously. Forever, then 24 more hours of rain. It was probably more like a week, but it really seemed the clouds would never cry themselves out. I run. And while I engage in a variety of exercise programs, running outdoors is my favorite. It's lovely to watch the sun rise. To smell the flowers and pine trees and whatever else is on my running trail. To listen to birds as they sing, or fight or just say hello. It's corny. It's great. I love it. And thanks to The Rain, I couldn't run. For days. (Forever). Then The Rain stopped. The local runners waited a day for The Dry because we knew our trail would be flooded or overrun with unpassable puddles, slick with wet leaves and what…
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It’s #NaNoWriMo Day…

Personal Narrative
Today is the first day of National Novel Writing Month. The competition, commonly hashtagged as #NaNoWriMo, encourages creative writers to draft 50,000 new words (a "novel") in the month of November. I've decided to participate this year, and I've set my own goal as I did when I wrote in 2013. My goal then was 30,000 words. Though that bar will be more difficult to accomplish this year, that's my goal for 2015 as well. Yes, I create my own rules! I've done more pre-work this year. Well, more isn't saying much as I did none at all in the past. I'm very excited about my ideas in progress. They are a culmination of seeds long ago planted, and I can't wait to tend to them. Deciding on my project was a tug-of-war.…
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To #NaNoWriMo or Not to #NaNoWriMo

Personal Narrative
It's been a couple of years since my first and only participation in National Novel Writing Month. Despite my reticence of previous years, I found it a great experience and I was very glad I tried it. Last year this time, I thought I'd try it again, but the beginning of #NaNoWriMo happened while I was on a honeymoon. Who knew two people could sleep so much when relaxing on a boat!? Suffice to say, I was focused on other things and could never really get my mind on starting or continuing work on anything major last fall. So here we are. I think I'm in, but I'm not positive. In a few short weeks, I'll be undergoing a surgical procedure. I've never been under general anesthesia. I've never even had…
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Getting Free

Personal Narrative
It's such an amazing feeling - freedom. Freedom from my own thoughts of limitation. Freedom from an old path. Freedom from what no longer serves me. I've felt this freedom in recent days, swelling in a joyful crescendo this evening. To celebrate and reaffirm my recent decisions, I started tossing and recycling items long outdated. Tomorrow I get to cart them away. There's new space in my garage where anchors used to be. There's new energy and mental clarity where there was once clutter and dread. It's wonderful. [caption id="attachment_3336" align="aligncenter" width="604"] Embracing my true self.[/caption] Even an individual at cross purposes with himself is certain to end in failure. Yet a hundred or even a thousand people can definitely attain their goal, if they are of one mind. ~Nichiren Although many quote this passage from Many…
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